Welcome Eagles Fans
First and foremost Eagle Man would like to take the time to congratulate the Fairfax Eagles on the club's first ever win. The first one is without doubt the sweetest and I'm sure it will be remembered by all those that participated for a long time.
The Eagles are constantly evolving and improving and can look to many more victories in the future.
Now onto the good stuff!
Give That Man a Pabst
Eagle Man would like to take the time to congratulate club President Steven Grant on all his successes with the team with a large chilled glass of refreshing ice-cold chilled Pabst Blue Ribbon amber ale. In between rehearsing for his bag pipe marching band, getting his back waxed and plotting the freedom of Scotland from the English, Steven has placed a great deal of time and resources into the club. To get a win on his birthday (47th?) must of been especially sweet. Grant was known to have partied on into the late hours of Sunday morning. Well deserved Steve! Congratulations.
Get That Man a Navigator
The club would like to congratulate Dain Bentley and Mikey Zelinski on over-shooting the Philadelphia Fight home ground by roughly a state on the weekend. Bentley has subsequently claimed that he was merely showing foreigner Zelinski the New Jersey 'sights' whilst Zelinski was thought to have been too busy chatting up the Australian sounding GPS device to listen to it's instructions fully...This is not surprising as Zelinski very rarely listens to anyone bar himself, particularly those of female extraction.
Hypothetically Speaking....
Eagle Man would like to give a big confused WTF out to club prop and resident chick magnet Friar Tuck, who stunned team members with his variety of 'hypothetical' questions on the way home from the game.
"Who would you sleep with in the team if he was a girl" was a question that I'm sure not many rugby league guys would have contemplated prior to the trip home from Phili, Dain Bentley aside. The fact that Tuck went on to state that he would chose Steve Grant, due to his stylish kilted attire (makes the guy appear more womanly apparently) was equally disturbing. Allegations that club captain Mikey Zelinski would pick himself remain unconfirmed.
Eagle Man would also like to commend The Friar for his tremendous literacy skills. The man's ability to read is perhaps best demonstrated via his suggestion that all Eagle's players grab themselves a 'wig' from the 'Wings' store.... This would have been even more hilarious, if not for the fact that this wig agenda was probably part of some sexual 'hypothetical' fetish....you never know until you try, right Tuck?
A Mind Corrupted - A Team Horrified
It was this line of questioning/perverse thinking that no doubt corrupted the impressionable mind of Eagle prop Joey 'Chops' Tropea. Eagle Man has it on good authority that Chops was seen grinding on a dance-floor with a 6ft 4 'woman', whose Adam's Apple would have had William Tell licking his lips. This all occurred much to the delight of club perv Friar Tuck who couldn't believe his luck whilst watching on from a dark bar corner. The Eagles would like to wish Chops' 'girl' all the best in her world's largest hands and penis competition next week. 'She' is more than welcome to come a play Rugby League at any time in the future and would no doubt look forward to packing down into some scrums.
Pin Point Accuracy
Whilst on Tropea, Eagle Man would like to applaud him for his excellent example of driving with pin point accuracy on Saturday night. To be able to hit the only car, whilst reversing, in an empty car park takes a level of skill that only a true driving champion can hope to accomplish. The fact that he was able to hit such a small stationary target in his huge beast of a truck is testament to his never say 'DUI' attitude.
Better Luck Next Time
The ol' 'bring a puppy to a bar and the chicks will come running' tactic appears to have run it's course if Saturday night's effort from Henry Nowell is anything to go by. In a move that many have viewed as desperation Nowell was seen harassing local Fairfax County women on Saturday night whilst asking them to 'stroke his puppy'. The sight of a defeated Nowell curled up with his little dog at the end of the night seemed indicative of the relative success of the ploy. The question remains, where to from here for Nowell in his quest to pursue women? Flowers? Diamond Rings? Out and out begging? Friar Tuck? Only time will tell...
Another Sean Millar Low Point
In what is becoming tiresome, Sean Millar hit yet another low point on the weekend. Just when you think he has hit rock bottom, the man finds a ledge to roll off. Obviously rattled by his plummeting PBRank, Millar was seen trying to escort 5 women out of a local Herdon bar on Saturday night - no doubt in a desperate ploy to look like some sort of 'stud' in front of his less than impressed Rugby League comrades. Unfortunately for Millar it only counts for something if you can close the deal on one, rather than blow your chances, and those of your friends, with all five...Reports have Millar sleeping on the floor of one of the aforementioned females' apartments next to Friar Tuck, which is something best left to discussions on trips home from Philadelphia.
Millar all but confirmed his reputation as softest man in the AMNRL on the weekend after contributing 4 'brave' minutes to the Eagle cause (a personal record) prior to being injured. He truly is a Rugby League tampon. In for a week, out for a month!
Speaking of PBRranking...
Female Eagle Fan's have been left gob smacked by Christian Seaman's pitiful attempts to get himself noticed as a sex icon with his new hair 'style'. In what can only be described as a losing fight with a lawn-mower, Seamen has left fans wondering if there is a place below last in the club's pretty boy rankings. Eagle Man still admires Seamen for his desire to push the limitations of looking ridiculous. For a guy's hair to look worse when he is on leave than when he is in the army is no mean feat!
Cleaning Tips with Kevin Campbell.
House-wives all over the US have been stunned by the revelation that you can now get whiter than white whites through the creative use of condiments in your cleaning. In a move that has broken with tradition ,Campbell insists that all one needs to do to ensure a perfect wash cycle every time is to empty the entire contents of a fridge, or pantry, into the washing machine along with any offending dirty laundry. The fact that 'solidly' built Campbell's clothes are normally covered in all sorts of sauce stains probably accounts for this way of thinking.
Next Week on CTKC: How urine helps keep your bathroom clean!
Wow! What a week!
Next week the Eagles are up against local rivals the DC Slayers in what promises to be a fierce local derby.
Of course your eye witness Eagle Man will be there to report it - warts and all.
Go Eagles!
The Nest - OUT
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
The Nest Report 17 June 2008
Hello Eagle Fans
There is plenty to talk about, not least of all the self destructive nature of the Eagles outfit, who seem determined to break the AMNRL all-time record for handling errors.
The Eagles showed a lot of courage against a physical and experienced Bulls outfit who pulled no punches in attack and defense. As their number one fan, I took great pride in the club registering it's first ever premiership bonus point.
The Eagles hit the road next week to take on the Fight in Phili, so make sure you pack plenty of maroon in your travel bags to show your support for this great team! The Nest will be cheering on heartily and hopes to be heard over a parochial and large Fight crowd.
Intercept King
After knocking himself senseless in round one trying to tackle, Eagles import Naysan Eshraghi was able to avoid any additional body contact/head tackling by taking a beautifully timed intercept in the early stages of the game. Like a thief in the night Naysan dashed away 90 meters to score his first ever try for the club with his long mane flowing beautifully as he majestically strode away from the pursuing Bulls players. Eshraghi still has a long way to go though to come good on his early season 'guarantee' of being the club's leading try scorer this season. We wish him luck in his endeavor.
On the subject of head tackling, Joey 'Chops' Tropea was given a free trip to Disney Land courtesy of the Aston Bulls after being heavily concussed taking a hit up in the latter stages of the match. The club is hopeful that the trend of bouncing back with a 90 metre try after being knocked out continues next week. The club is still awaiting the results of scans to prove whether or not Tropea has a functioning human brain.
International Eagle Fans
Eagle Man would like to take the time to welcome Naysan's mother to the official Eagles Fan Club. It is lovely to see the club followed by family and fans abroad! As his full-time carer, baby sitter and publicist Mrs Eshraghi was nice enough to look out for little Naysan by inundating Eagle Man with threats to have Naysan on the next plane out of Washington DC if Eagle Man didn't publish positive news about the Aussie import sensation.
Being one that isn't easily intimidated, not to mention a huge proponent of freedom of speech and of the press, Eagle Man would like to say that Naysan Eshraghi is quite possibly the best rugby league player he has ever seen and is definitely on his way to the Rugby League Hall of Fame. Go Naysy Waysy!
Not so Pretty No More...
Sean Millar has seen his Pretty Boy Ranking (PBR! What an apt time to mention the cool refreshing drink that is Pabst Blue Ribbon beer) stocks plummet amongst female fans after he was allegedly spotted throwing up not only onto himself but also into a schooner glass at a Herdon night spot on Saturday night. Millar's plight was worsened by the fact he was attempting to entertain a few Eagles' female fans, with word quickly spreading amongst the female fan base of his vulgarity and light weight drinking efforts - a huge no no for Rugby League pin ups.
Millar was already under pressure to retain his PBR after refusing to take the field on Saturday. Millar was seen complaining of 'soreness' and more obscurely a 'lack of respect' from the Eagles organization. Watch this space as tensions continue to mount between the club and it's soon to be benched hooker.
Chad P.(The Nest has found out the P is for Pinky) Culpepper's volunteering of himself as a candidate for the position of 'number 2 pretty boy' has been taken under advisement with the size of the beak that Chad passes off as a nose a concern to female fans. Culpepper insisted at the time of writing that his nose was only that big temporarily - the result of breaking it in a heavy tackle on the weekend - however an analysis of historical photos of the man has thus far proven otherwise. Culpepper refused to comment on rumors that he was forced into submission by the new temporary import, and noted fly weight, Tim Zelinsky on no less than four occassions in a bit of late night defensive practice. My mail is that it happened.
Meanwhile new club captain Mikey Zelinsky's campy array of tight and bright shirts have seen him strengthen his vice like grip on the club pretty boy title, with his appeal not only to women but also to men simply unmatched and providing a boon for the clubs membership drive. The Eagles now have the largest gay fan base in the AMNRL. Thanks Mike!
Zelinsky is said to be confident at holding off a potential challenger in John 'I'm wasted on the wing' Young who has declared not only his intentions to become the Eagle's star outside back but also to arrest the coveted No. 1 PBR from Zelinsky.
Give That Man a Pabst
Eagle Man's tall glass of delicious, chilled and bubbly Pabst Blue Ribbon amber gold brew (seriously how good is Pabst?) definitely goes to club cult hero Andrew 'The Bobcat' Reddy. Reddy has ignited the club's supporter base with his courageous on-field running and duking against much bigger opponents in what has proved to be a real 'break out' (just ask him) season for him thus far. Reddy has been one of the clubs most improved players and it would be interesting to see what he was capable of if he had two functioning shoulders.
Special mention goes to Tim 'J-LO' Hardmon who motored to the try line powered by his enormously huge and ostentatious rear quarters in the dying minutes of Saturday's match thereby securing a bonus point for the club. The sight of all that trunked junk in a pair of custom made shorts was truly a sight to behold and will no doubt have physicists scrambling over themselves to measure the remarkable kinetic forces at play. To score the last try of the match was a great effort by the Eagles and showed tremendous character.
Get That Man a Lawyer
Eagle Man expresses his concern at Dain Bentley's flagrant disregard of his marital commitments at the weekend. As a family club, The Nest was particularly disheartened at Bentley's refusal to leave a notorious Eagles hang out despite repeated requests from his wife to do so. Ignoring protests from his significant other, Bentley was determined to stay and lecture the side on politics and morality. In contrast to the club's squeaky clean family imagine Bentley appeared more interested in voicing his support for Barrack Obama and Universal Health Care in a beer fueled slurring oration than fulfilling his home duties. No doubt Dain intends to raise the other 'must have' dinner conversation topics of money and religion at the next official team function.
On a similar note Eagle Man would like to express his admiration of club founder and inaugural five eighth Craig Webb who abandoned his teammates so readily at his wife's behest to attend the wedding of some distant friend or cousin...or something. That is the sort of man you can build a club around! Go Craig!
Dancing Queen
Club stalwart and old boy Danny Hanson was allegedly spotted at Herdon night spot Ned Devines drowning his sorrows after having a game to forget. In a match where handling errors were a premium, Hanson was a knock on super star. In the driving rain it must be said that Hanson had a better chance of catching a cold than a rugby league football and he did the right thing by hooking himself before someone more Australian had to. Back at Devines, Hanson enthralled patrons with his robotic dance floor movements and Frankenstein impersonations as he cut a totem pole like figure in amongst women and men less than half his age. Eagle Man says, if you've got it, flaunt it...so Danny....take that as you will.
Welcome back Judas
The club's prodigal son Kevin 'I'm wider than I am tall' Campbell makes his belated return to the squad after picking up his 30 pieces of silver at a recent Rugby Union 7's tournament. The Nest understands that Campbell found playing Rugby League in the centers far too physical for his delicate frame and that he was looking for a week off from the rigors of playing in the backs by having a trot around on the 7's field. We hope you're well rested Kev. I'll come and have a chat to you...on the bench!
Well that's all of the mail this week.
Stay tuned for more outrageous Eagle News from The Nest
Oh and have a little something on Henry Nowell as first try scorer. The kid is a speed demon.
Over and Out
The Nest
There is plenty to talk about, not least of all the self destructive nature of the Eagles outfit, who seem determined to break the AMNRL all-time record for handling errors.
The Eagles showed a lot of courage against a physical and experienced Bulls outfit who pulled no punches in attack and defense. As their number one fan, I took great pride in the club registering it's first ever premiership bonus point.
The Eagles hit the road next week to take on the Fight in Phili, so make sure you pack plenty of maroon in your travel bags to show your support for this great team! The Nest will be cheering on heartily and hopes to be heard over a parochial and large Fight crowd.
Intercept King
After knocking himself senseless in round one trying to tackle, Eagles import Naysan Eshraghi was able to avoid any additional body contact/head tackling by taking a beautifully timed intercept in the early stages of the game. Like a thief in the night Naysan dashed away 90 meters to score his first ever try for the club with his long mane flowing beautifully as he majestically strode away from the pursuing Bulls players. Eshraghi still has a long way to go though to come good on his early season 'guarantee' of being the club's leading try scorer this season. We wish him luck in his endeavor.
On the subject of head tackling, Joey 'Chops' Tropea was given a free trip to Disney Land courtesy of the Aston Bulls after being heavily concussed taking a hit up in the latter stages of the match. The club is hopeful that the trend of bouncing back with a 90 metre try after being knocked out continues next week. The club is still awaiting the results of scans to prove whether or not Tropea has a functioning human brain.
International Eagle Fans
Eagle Man would like to take the time to welcome Naysan's mother to the official Eagles Fan Club. It is lovely to see the club followed by family and fans abroad! As his full-time carer, baby sitter and publicist Mrs Eshraghi was nice enough to look out for little Naysan by inundating Eagle Man with threats to have Naysan on the next plane out of Washington DC if Eagle Man didn't publish positive news about the Aussie import sensation.
Being one that isn't easily intimidated, not to mention a huge proponent of freedom of speech and of the press, Eagle Man would like to say that Naysan Eshraghi is quite possibly the best rugby league player he has ever seen and is definitely on his way to the Rugby League Hall of Fame. Go Naysy Waysy!
Not so Pretty No More...
Sean Millar has seen his Pretty Boy Ranking (PBR! What an apt time to mention the cool refreshing drink that is Pabst Blue Ribbon beer) stocks plummet amongst female fans after he was allegedly spotted throwing up not only onto himself but also into a schooner glass at a Herdon night spot on Saturday night. Millar's plight was worsened by the fact he was attempting to entertain a few Eagles' female fans, with word quickly spreading amongst the female fan base of his vulgarity and light weight drinking efforts - a huge no no for Rugby League pin ups.
Millar was already under pressure to retain his PBR after refusing to take the field on Saturday. Millar was seen complaining of 'soreness' and more obscurely a 'lack of respect' from the Eagles organization. Watch this space as tensions continue to mount between the club and it's soon to be benched hooker.
Chad P.(The Nest has found out the P is for Pinky) Culpepper's volunteering of himself as a candidate for the position of 'number 2 pretty boy' has been taken under advisement with the size of the beak that Chad passes off as a nose a concern to female fans. Culpepper insisted at the time of writing that his nose was only that big temporarily - the result of breaking it in a heavy tackle on the weekend - however an analysis of historical photos of the man has thus far proven otherwise. Culpepper refused to comment on rumors that he was forced into submission by the new temporary import, and noted fly weight, Tim Zelinsky on no less than four occassions in a bit of late night defensive practice. My mail is that it happened.
Meanwhile new club captain Mikey Zelinsky's campy array of tight and bright shirts have seen him strengthen his vice like grip on the club pretty boy title, with his appeal not only to women but also to men simply unmatched and providing a boon for the clubs membership drive. The Eagles now have the largest gay fan base in the AMNRL. Thanks Mike!
Zelinsky is said to be confident at holding off a potential challenger in John 'I'm wasted on the wing' Young who has declared not only his intentions to become the Eagle's star outside back but also to arrest the coveted No. 1 PBR from Zelinsky.
Give That Man a Pabst
Eagle Man's tall glass of delicious, chilled and bubbly Pabst Blue Ribbon amber gold brew (seriously how good is Pabst?) definitely goes to club cult hero Andrew 'The Bobcat' Reddy. Reddy has ignited the club's supporter base with his courageous on-field running and duking against much bigger opponents in what has proved to be a real 'break out' (just ask him) season for him thus far. Reddy has been one of the clubs most improved players and it would be interesting to see what he was capable of if he had two functioning shoulders.
Special mention goes to Tim 'J-LO' Hardmon who motored to the try line powered by his enormously huge and ostentatious rear quarters in the dying minutes of Saturday's match thereby securing a bonus point for the club. The sight of all that trunked junk in a pair of custom made shorts was truly a sight to behold and will no doubt have physicists scrambling over themselves to measure the remarkable kinetic forces at play. To score the last try of the match was a great effort by the Eagles and showed tremendous character.
Get That Man a Lawyer
Eagle Man expresses his concern at Dain Bentley's flagrant disregard of his marital commitments at the weekend. As a family club, The Nest was particularly disheartened at Bentley's refusal to leave a notorious Eagles hang out despite repeated requests from his wife to do so. Ignoring protests from his significant other, Bentley was determined to stay and lecture the side on politics and morality. In contrast to the club's squeaky clean family imagine Bentley appeared more interested in voicing his support for Barrack Obama and Universal Health Care in a beer fueled slurring oration than fulfilling his home duties. No doubt Dain intends to raise the other 'must have' dinner conversation topics of money and religion at the next official team function.
On a similar note Eagle Man would like to express his admiration of club founder and inaugural five eighth Craig Webb who abandoned his teammates so readily at his wife's behest to attend the wedding of some distant friend or cousin...or something. That is the sort of man you can build a club around! Go Craig!
Dancing Queen
Club stalwart and old boy Danny Hanson was allegedly spotted at Herdon night spot Ned Devines drowning his sorrows after having a game to forget. In a match where handling errors were a premium, Hanson was a knock on super star. In the driving rain it must be said that Hanson had a better chance of catching a cold than a rugby league football and he did the right thing by hooking himself before someone more Australian had to. Back at Devines, Hanson enthralled patrons with his robotic dance floor movements and Frankenstein impersonations as he cut a totem pole like figure in amongst women and men less than half his age. Eagle Man says, if you've got it, flaunt it...so Danny....take that as you will.
Welcome back Judas
The club's prodigal son Kevin 'I'm wider than I am tall' Campbell makes his belated return to the squad after picking up his 30 pieces of silver at a recent Rugby Union 7's tournament. The Nest understands that Campbell found playing Rugby League in the centers far too physical for his delicate frame and that he was looking for a week off from the rigors of playing in the backs by having a trot around on the 7's field. We hope you're well rested Kev. I'll come and have a chat to you...on the bench!
Well that's all of the mail this week.
Stay tuned for more outrageous Eagle News from The Nest
Oh and have a little something on Henry Nowell as first try scorer. The kid is a speed demon.
Over and Out
The Nest
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Nest Report - 10 June
Eagle Man reporting.
The Fairfax Eagles went down in their first ever match in a tough and physical encounter with local rivals the DC Slayers going down 14-40. The match set the scene for what should be a healthy rivalry between two proud clubs in the years to come.
It is an old cliché but Rugby League was the winner on the day. For both clubs to have over 25 guys suited up and playing the sport was a momentous occasion for the game in Northern Virginia.
Congratulations must go to both clubs for this top effort!
The Eagles certainly did Eagle Man and the Eagle Fan Club proud.
I expect to see a great deal of improvement from this squad as they play more rugby league together. Hopefully we don't see anymore "holy crap these guys want to BASH me" 10 minute periods such as at the start of the game where the team looked more prepared for a game of Soft Ball than a contact sport.
Fire up boys!
It must be said though that despite the poor start it took a great deal of courage and character to fight back to 16-14 at half time. The Eagles actually played some outstanding periods of play and looked the better side in patches. The side looked to be well in the match until some poor penalties and lazy errors gave the game away in the second stanza.
Credit must go to the Slayers who played a very tough and physical brand of Rugby League and were tactically superior to the Eagles.
The next local derby in two weeks time should be a cracker!
The Nest was also impressed at the sportsmanship of the Slayers players who took the time to attend the Eagles post match function and support an important Eagles sponsor 'The Wing House'
Give That Man a Pabst
Special mention goes to Eagle 'winger' (pun intended) and noted 'flier' (wow two in one sentence) Henry Nowell who scored the clubs first ever try.
Club President Steve 'We Shall Have Our Freedom' Grant was known to have been privately seething and tearing out the few remaining hairs on his head at having been denied the opportunity to cross the chalk for the first ever Fairfax Eagles T-R-Y.
Grant was later placated when it was pointed out that he would be lucky to ever cross the try line in a game of Rugby League given his lack of speed, skill or agility.
Someone Tell That Guy to Lay Off the Pabst
Chad P. Culpepper learned a valuable lesson on the weekend, earning himself the dubious distinction of first ever Eagle to visit the sin bin. Culpepper, an engineer, was adamant that he was merely seeking 'clarification' on some technical aspects/specifications of the game so that he could produce a more efficient outcome in the future.
Rugby league historians are currently investigating whether Culpepper is in fact the first player to ever be sin binned on debut.
Eagle Rumor
Sean Millar was allegedly seen pestering women around a local Herndon bar on Saturday evening asking them whether they had 'seen' his try earlier that day. Despite having only fallen over the line it is rumored that Millar was exaggerating the length and significance of his achievement much like he is known to with certain elements of his anatomy. Millar is known to be furious at being runner up in the official club pretty boy stakes and has let officials know his feelings on the matter. Millar has been linked to a trade to a less handsome club where he is investigating the possibility of playing for a team where his looks will be more appreciated.
Injury Update
The Nest is hopeful that starting hooker Steve Grant can recover in time from his badly bruised pinkie finger in time for round two. Grant is said to have been in agony for the duration of the round one match, or more specifically the entire 15 minutes that he took the field, courageously playing on despite feeling the effects of the injury and the searing pain that only those who have ever bruised a finger can fully appreciate.
Get well Steven!
Naysan Estrangi is expected to be passed fit to play despite forgetting which country he was in after a Sonny Bill Shoulder charge gone wrong on the weekend left him severely concussed. Estrangi seemed to have forgotten that whilst he may have Samoan blood, he doesn't have the physique and would be best to put the shoulder charging back in the kit bag for the remainder of the season. If he looks in that kit bag he might also find a pair of hair clippers for a desperately needed haircut. Speculation that it was Estrangi's rat tail that impaired his vision leading to the miscalculated shoulder charge is being investigated by club officials.
Cheerio Eh' Bro
The Nest wishes a warm farewell to captain Jordan Barber who has had to return to England for an urgent personal matter. Barber is hopeful he will be able to return once his affairs are in order. The Nest certainly hopes to see him return for a few more matches this AMNRL season with his 'colorful' half time speeches a match highlight.
On to Round Two
The Nest expects a continued improvement from all players as individuals and as a collective and expects the side to do well against AMNRL powerhouse the Aston Bulls.
The Eagles will look to build on some impressive patches of play and look for a strong showing against such a formidable opposition.
Until next time
Go the Eagles!
Eagle Man out.
The Fairfax Eagles went down in their first ever match in a tough and physical encounter with local rivals the DC Slayers going down 14-40. The match set the scene for what should be a healthy rivalry between two proud clubs in the years to come.
It is an old cliché but Rugby League was the winner on the day. For both clubs to have over 25 guys suited up and playing the sport was a momentous occasion for the game in Northern Virginia.
Congratulations must go to both clubs for this top effort!
The Eagles certainly did Eagle Man and the Eagle Fan Club proud.
I expect to see a great deal of improvement from this squad as they play more rugby league together. Hopefully we don't see anymore "holy crap these guys want to BASH me" 10 minute periods such as at the start of the game where the team looked more prepared for a game of Soft Ball than a contact sport.
Fire up boys!
It must be said though that despite the poor start it took a great deal of courage and character to fight back to 16-14 at half time. The Eagles actually played some outstanding periods of play and looked the better side in patches. The side looked to be well in the match until some poor penalties and lazy errors gave the game away in the second stanza.
Credit must go to the Slayers who played a very tough and physical brand of Rugby League and were tactically superior to the Eagles.
The next local derby in two weeks time should be a cracker!
The Nest was also impressed at the sportsmanship of the Slayers players who took the time to attend the Eagles post match function and support an important Eagles sponsor 'The Wing House'
Give That Man a Pabst
Special mention goes to Eagle 'winger' (pun intended) and noted 'flier' (wow two in one sentence) Henry Nowell who scored the clubs first ever try.
Club President Steve 'We Shall Have Our Freedom' Grant was known to have been privately seething and tearing out the few remaining hairs on his head at having been denied the opportunity to cross the chalk for the first ever Fairfax Eagles T-R-Y.
Grant was later placated when it was pointed out that he would be lucky to ever cross the try line in a game of Rugby League given his lack of speed, skill or agility.
Someone Tell That Guy to Lay Off the Pabst
Chad P. Culpepper learned a valuable lesson on the weekend, earning himself the dubious distinction of first ever Eagle to visit the sin bin. Culpepper, an engineer, was adamant that he was merely seeking 'clarification' on some technical aspects/specifications of the game so that he could produce a more efficient outcome in the future.
Rugby league historians are currently investigating whether Culpepper is in fact the first player to ever be sin binned on debut.
Eagle Rumor
Sean Millar was allegedly seen pestering women around a local Herndon bar on Saturday evening asking them whether they had 'seen' his try earlier that day. Despite having only fallen over the line it is rumored that Millar was exaggerating the length and significance of his achievement much like he is known to with certain elements of his anatomy. Millar is known to be furious at being runner up in the official club pretty boy stakes and has let officials know his feelings on the matter. Millar has been linked to a trade to a less handsome club where he is investigating the possibility of playing for a team where his looks will be more appreciated.
Injury Update
The Nest is hopeful that starting hooker Steve Grant can recover in time from his badly bruised pinkie finger in time for round two. Grant is said to have been in agony for the duration of the round one match, or more specifically the entire 15 minutes that he took the field, courageously playing on despite feeling the effects of the injury and the searing pain that only those who have ever bruised a finger can fully appreciate.
Get well Steven!
Naysan Estrangi is expected to be passed fit to play despite forgetting which country he was in after a Sonny Bill Shoulder charge gone wrong on the weekend left him severely concussed. Estrangi seemed to have forgotten that whilst he may have Samoan blood, he doesn't have the physique and would be best to put the shoulder charging back in the kit bag for the remainder of the season. If he looks in that kit bag he might also find a pair of hair clippers for a desperately needed haircut. Speculation that it was Estrangi's rat tail that impaired his vision leading to the miscalculated shoulder charge is being investigated by club officials.
Cheerio Eh' Bro
The Nest wishes a warm farewell to captain Jordan Barber who has had to return to England for an urgent personal matter. Barber is hopeful he will be able to return once his affairs are in order. The Nest certainly hopes to see him return for a few more matches this AMNRL season with his 'colorful' half time speeches a match highlight.
On to Round Two
The Nest expects a continued improvement from all players as individuals and as a collective and expects the side to do well against AMNRL powerhouse the Aston Bulls.
The Eagles will look to build on some impressive patches of play and look for a strong showing against such a formidable opposition.
Until next time
Go the Eagles!
Eagle Man out.
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