The Nest Report - 17 July 2008

Welcome to The Nest Eagles Fans

After a slightly disappointing outing against the Sharks last weekend the team is said to be in high spirits for this weeks clash against the league leading Bulls.

Good luck to the boys and lets hope you can spring an upset!

And the hits just keep on coming...

For for fast talking Kevin Campbell that is. Campbell was opened up like a brief case over his left eye on the weekend by a Shark's player's 'elbow charge' gone 'wrong' (or right?). Fortunately for Campbell the club's own medical officer/player Beaker was on hand to stitch him up on the sidelines whilst still in full playing gear.

What this does for Campbell's PBRanking is unclear - though it seems that once and for the myth that 'chicks dig scars' can finally be disproved once and for all.

Give That Man a Pabst

Congratulations to club baby and prodigious talent Naysan Eshragi on winning his first man of the match award for the season. Naysan showed plenty of courage at the weekend and probably just edged out his opposing rival in the rat-tail-off.

Keep 'em coming Naysan....and get a hair cut!


Seeing Double...

Just what is it about the power of the rat's tail? Call it co-incidence if you may, but onlookers were certainly left scratching their heads when the man of the match from both the Sharks and the Eagles were both seen sporting rat's tails at the post match function.

Given the superstitious nature of many players in the league, don't be surprised to see more players adopting the sexy new, and seemingly magical. look.

I have it on good authority that Dain Bentley has been secretly praying to the rat's tail Gods in the hope of a set of hands to call his own.

Once You Go Black...

Club Captain Mikey Zelinsky has finally able to live out his fantasy of having a visible penis on his person. After taking an almighty blow to the nether regions on the weekend, Zelinsky was said to have been left sporting a penis that only team mate Bucket Ass Tim could topple in color..

Unfortunately for Zelinski whilst he may have received a little black ink in his pen, it didn't help inflate the over all figure.

The Marathon Man

Jeff 'The Silver Fox' Bush stunned all Eagles players and fans when he was able to complete a full game of rugby league without substitution on the weekend. In what was a truly inspirational piece of endurance Bush was able to play without the aid of his walking frame and did not need to come off once to use his respirator.

Bush was a huge hit with the lone 75 year old female sitting in the stands as he showed the boys in the league that he's still got the hip swivel and hot step that made him a household name in US Rugby back in the 1940's.

Well done Bush! You and an inspiration to pensioners everywhere.


Grey is the New Black.

Whilst on Bush, The Nest has it on good authority that Bush and his notorious offsiders Kris Shwartz and John O'Donnell were involved in a physical altercation in a local Herndon bar at the weekend with three men from a neighboring state.

Tensions apparently boiled over when Bush pointed out that the classic 'no toothed mullet' the 3 West Virgina men in question were sporting would be far more 'magical' as rat's tails.

Man Mountain Kris was soon being subdued from the vice like death grip he had on one of the hill billies by Bush who then escorted him outside in order to calm hostilities. Conversely OD, being a man of negotiation, was forced to give up 'that there purdi Eagle shirt you be sportin' in order to get out of the bar in one piece. Courageous.

Just a couple of young 45+ year old bucks blowing off a little steam on a Saturday night hey gents?


They Can't Run Without Legs

Club debutant Chad 'Hands' Metcalfe certainly took the old Rugby League adage to new heights on the weekend when he performed what can only be described as a cannon ball tackle on his opposing front rower. Having earlier been bumped off for going high, Metcalfe launched himself in spectacular fashion, knocking his opponent over like a tenpin. The sight of Metcalfe performing that tackle was a great deal better than that of him running around the field shirtless, sporting his now trade mark wife beater tan.

Mmmmm Sexy.

Ok fans

That is all for this week.

Before sure to check in next week to find out whether Butter Ball's speaking ban has been lifted and just how few minutes JC played.

If you hear any Eagles rumors - true or false - be sure to let me know!

The Nest

Over and Out